Inspiring parents in our community: Carly and Amber

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Inspiring parents in our community: Carly and Amber

Inspiring parents in our community: Carly and Amber

Today we are meeting Carly and her mother Amber. These two have so much mom wisdom to share!

First things first – how would you introduce each other?

Carly: Haha, oh man, well I guess I would like to introduce my mom, Amber. She has been an amazing mom my whole life – and a single mom for most of my life. Now she is a great grandma to my son and my sister’s child.

When we first exchanged emails, you told me that Amber has been a mom-figure most of her life?

Amber: That’s true. I have had a baby on my hip since I was 8 years old. I could always speak baby language. Babies have always been drawn to me.

Carly: That’s true! You are in City Market and five minutes later there are three kids following my mom around.

Amber: I started babysitting when I was 12. There was a family of three kids I started taking care of at that time. We grew up together; they were only ten years younger than me. Now I take care of their babies.

Carly: There were always babies around our house.

Amber: I always knew my girls would be good at the practical care of babies because they were always taking care of them.

Carly is in the early stages of parenthood right now with her son being six months old, do you remember that stage, Amber?

Amber: Yes, it was terrible when my kids were little. I was always in a high stress job. I was exhausted. I was just trying to put food on the table. But I also wanted to make experiences. It was very important to me that I be present for my kids as young kids.

Carly: I remember this one time she fell asleep at the movie theater.

Amber: Head down on the seat in front of me – they were crawling all over me and I didn’t even move. But I was doing my best to make sure they were fed, sheltered, and that their needs were being met socially. It’s easier now that I’m a grandma – it’s my job to just love them unconditionally.

It’s nice when you aren’t the parent sometimes!

Amber: All kids need other adults outside their parents who are safe people.

Carly, how is it for you now that you are a parent?

Carly: I always saw myself as a mom. But I had some really hard experiences at first. My son had a really bad tongue and lip tie – nursing was so much harder than I thought. And sleep! We *maybe* started sleeping better last week.

Amber, do you feel like Carly has surprised you in how she has handled motherhood?

Amber: Like I said, I never thought that she would have trouble with the practical side. But taking care of a child is so much harder when it is your kid. You are just exhausted emotionally, physically. You are sleep deprived.

Carly: I have found that I have more patience than I thought. But I also have more buttons to be pushed than I thought!

Like what?

Carly: I can definitely get touched out! My husband is a firefighter and will be gone 48 hours at a time. But when he comes back – he even puts a hand on my shoulder and I am like nope! Too much touching.

…At first I felt like I was failing. Not sleeping, nursing being so hard. But my sister told me that I was the best mom for my baby at that moment.

Amber: And you’ll be the best mom for whatever baby of yours comes after, too.

What other good parenting advice have you gotten along the way?

Amber: Some of the best advice I got was that the relationship you have with your toddler is the one you’ll have with your teenagers. Don’t make a joke of their questions and how they want to explore the world.

Carly: That’s true, treat them as true people and individuals. You can control your reaction to them even if you can’t control the “thing.”

Amber: Also, I got this from my grandfather: The first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

You guys have so much amazing mom wisdom, I guess to finish up, can you give other moms an idea of how to give back to themselves?

Carly: Take 30 minutes of doing something that makes yourself feel good. For me that is movement or being outside.

Amber: Set boundaries. But this is something that I, and all of us, can keep working on.

Thank you so much Amber and Carly! It was such a pleasure to chat and you two have so much wisdom to share!